insecuritycase

Time halts only to mix and destroy my mind. Never had I felt so lost, burning - uncontrollable. Maybe it's just me. Maybe I have illusioned myself to believe that love does in fact exist; that I am meant for such horrid pleasure. And hear I stand; broken - empty. Laughing. Oh sunshine; high praise is all I ask for you. Yet, you step on me - burn me with your lack and disregard. My skin pales and the rain runs down me as you move away in search of something new. And hear I stand; broken - empty. Laughing. Sometimes I miss you, sometimes I hate you. But all the while these emotions are only mere artifacts to hide how much I love you.

I know. I'd be lying if I said I was doing fine. I'd be lying more is I was I was truly okay. But, I'm getting over it. I realize that I'm not going to get my way- and I might not ever love someone again. IDK- I'm just that type of person. When I give my heart out to someone, it just ...stays with them. Which sux- because, hell; I'd like to fall in love again. But, at the same time I'd rather not- because you get fucked over due to irritational arguements and condecending words. And then when you realize, "Shit, I'm fucking up a perfectly good relationship because I can't take the thought that someone actually cares for me." and you try

I just read a good book recently. And... it talked to me. Opened me up a bit. Made me truly look at myself. A book about a girl who killed herself. Don't worry- she's all fiction. But, fiction with meaning. You may not know the name of it. "13 Reasons Why." Now... I can admit, I'm the not happiest person. I'm not the greatest or smartest- but I know what it's like to be alone. And to hate the world- before slowly... giving up. On everything. Everyone. And sometimes time- I almost did. Who needs life anyway, huh? Who needs a constant heart beat- to associate with a world filled with demons covered in skin that looks so similar